Love

Love is Evil.
Love is indescribable.
Love is a knife in your heart
Love is floating on air
Love is crushing
Love is lifting
Love is painful
Love is magical
Love is nothing
Love is everything

So because everyone always have to I figure I'm going to write my own little thing on love.

I have loved three people in my life... well two maybe three.

First loves... I think it is important that everyone always keeps their first love in their heart. I think its important no matter how messy the break up that one continues to love their first love. Because honestly your first love is the reason for the rest of your relationships. Your first love gives you those things you know you know to look for in your future relationships. It is the basic building block of all future relationships... You should never stop talking to your first love. You should never stop caring. Never regret any moment because once you would give your life for it you have no right to regret it now.

Second love? I have always questioned this love. It was a short relationship. Many people called it a rebound. I didn't cry when we broke up. Even if i lied and said i did. I only cried when i was told that he had said he had not loved me. Honestly he never said that to me. Even at the end of our friendship he didn't say it to me. Not to my face. He told me he hated me in a text. But he never said he didn't love me. I don't know if i ever really did. I've heard it said if you dont cry in the end it wasn't really love. I didn't cry. The only time i cried was when i lost him as a friend. I think I put more of my heart into that "friendship" then i did into the relationship. I spent a year chasing after "love." even a love i questioned to be love, why? I knew i was being used. I knew i was being strung along. So why did i chase after him. Why did I continue to tell myself i love him. when i questioned it. After everything that happened I should hate him.... but I don't... I don't care about him, at least not like i used to.... and i don't love him... not like if i ever did. I don't miss him... but i thank him. I thank him for teaching me many life lessons, though some hard, i thank him because if it wasn't for him i would have never meet love number three.

Every girl wants their fairy tale. Most girls never find it or work so hard they settle for less. But i did i found it. I cant put into words how much i love this boy. when I'm with him nothing wrong can happen. I never thought that I would be able to last in a long distance relationship. But you know as much as i miss him its not that hard. I mean sure it sucks not seeing him when i want to. not being able to hold him. But it makes me love every moment I'm with him even more. No one compares to him. he is perfect. The only way i can explain it is think of that sappy girlly chick flick... and that feeling you get while watching it... that "awww i want that relationship... why doesn't that happen in really life" feeling... that what i have everyday... but its 100 times better cause i actually have that relationship! Its true what everyone says about dating your best friend its so amazing.

If there is one thing i have learned in my dating life its this.... Love is the most complicated thing in the world... yet the simplest. Love is as full of contradictions as I am. No one can explain love. but everyone has a theory on it. Love is not an emotion or a state of mind. Love is just that Love.... a four letter word that can start and stop wars, Destroy and build house holds, fix and complicate lives. Its just Love!

I cant tell you what love is or what it feels like. No more then you can tell me. Just don't be afraid to love. that's the only advice anyone can ever give on the subject. Broken hearts mend and hearts that love always full.