So once upon a time I met a boy, and not to long after that I fell in love with him. Typical story of a typical teenage high school romance. But there is something about this boy that is different then anything I have ever felt before. Id do anything for him. Id do anything to see him smile. The thought of him makes my world feel content. I am honestly in love with him.
at least once a week I get the question..."How is it being in a long distance relationship, like is it hard?" As strange as this is, this question always makes me smile. because I understand it. In this day an age where the average marriage only last 8 years, and the divorce rate is 50% how in the world do to young adults make a long distance relationship last as long as we have?
The answer... I have no clue. It always baffles me to think that people doubt such things. I mean I love him. That is the real answer. for what is any relationship with out love. even so far away we still make time for each other, and we learn to appreciate the little things, a letter in the mail, a package of random dollar tree nic nacks.
Love is accepting things as they are... and just loving each other through it all
Monday, October 19, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
far to long since i last posted
not that it matters this is purely for me anyway...
I spent tonight doing something I have not done in a long time. I sat at my window and tried to fall asleep on the window seat. Laying there with the window open and the cool air filling my lungs. It was like the memories of you came in with every breath I took. The nights spend sitting there talking to you about everything under the sun. Those phone calls that would go on for hours. Those discussions that never really became debates because we agreed on everything.I can honestly say I have not had nearly an intellectual conversation that honestly intrigued my mind since. Those phone calls that made me cry and scream in anger. Those phone calls that caused the suffering of my grades and the sleeping in many a class.
That is all we ever had was phone calls. Nothing more then a voice to talk to. But for some reason or another they held the highest of value to me. I never knew when I would be getting the phone call how long I would have to wait to talk again. But when the phone rang with your caller ID it was never a question of to answer or not.
For the first time in over a year I let myself think about you tonight. I don't know why, Its not like i have told myself that I don't want to think about you. It is just you no longer hold an importance in my life. You hurt me. But you made me stronger. You made me struggle. But you made me stand tall. In destroying me you probably did the best thing for me.
I have been over all that for a very long time. Thus meaning that it is rare that you may cross my mind. And like tonight it is not a matter of any specific thought because I don't have one. Just that you left a hand print on my life. For good, or for bad, I can not say, and personally I may never know. I guess I don't know why I am writing this or what the purpose for saying anything at all is. But I feel like the statement is necessary...
I spent tonight doing something I have not done in a long time. I sat at my window and tried to fall asleep on the window seat. Laying there with the window open and the cool air filling my lungs. It was like the memories of you came in with every breath I took. The nights spend sitting there talking to you about everything under the sun. Those phone calls that would go on for hours. Those discussions that never really became debates because we agreed on everything.I can honestly say I have not had nearly an intellectual conversation that honestly intrigued my mind since. Those phone calls that made me cry and scream in anger. Those phone calls that caused the suffering of my grades and the sleeping in many a class.
That is all we ever had was phone calls. Nothing more then a voice to talk to. But for some reason or another they held the highest of value to me. I never knew when I would be getting the phone call how long I would have to wait to talk again. But when the phone rang with your caller ID it was never a question of to answer or not.
For the first time in over a year I let myself think about you tonight. I don't know why, Its not like i have told myself that I don't want to think about you. It is just you no longer hold an importance in my life. You hurt me. But you made me stronger. You made me struggle. But you made me stand tall. In destroying me you probably did the best thing for me.
I have been over all that for a very long time. Thus meaning that it is rare that you may cross my mind. And like tonight it is not a matter of any specific thought because I don't have one. Just that you left a hand print on my life. For good, or for bad, I can not say, and personally I may never know. I guess I don't know why I am writing this or what the purpose for saying anything at all is. But I feel like the statement is necessary...
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Anti- Poem
This is an anti poem.
This poem spits on personification.
This poem annihilates diction.
This poem fights similes like a WWF cage fight.
This poem asks,
How would you feel if I never picked up a pen?
Never again.
Would you notice?
Would the world collapse?
Would panic ensue?
The catastrophic melting of ice caps
Of polar bears dying.
No.
My words are nothing to you.
Nothing to the world.
They won’t change a plan.
They can’t stop a train.
Words.
Letters on a page.
Words.
My pen.
My paper.
Nothing.
Nothing in the scheme of things.
A page in a desk.
A scribble on a sheet.
A second on the stage.
I don’t care.
I spill my words.
My hopes.
My fears.
Do you care?
No.
Do I care?
No
Words.
This poem spits on personification.
This poem annihilates diction.
This poem fights similes like a WWF cage fight.
This poem asks,
How would you feel if I never picked up a pen?
Never again.
Would you notice?
Would the world collapse?
Would panic ensue?
The catastrophic melting of ice caps
Of polar bears dying.
No.
My words are nothing to you.
Nothing to the world.
They won’t change a plan.
They can’t stop a train.
Words.
Letters on a page.
Words.
My pen.
My paper.
Nothing.
Nothing in the scheme of things.
A page in a desk.
A scribble on a sheet.
A second on the stage.
I don’t care.
I spill my words.
My hopes.
My fears.
Do you care?
No.
Do I care?
No
Words.
Looking back and Moving Forward, my 2nd place poetry slam poem
I’m going to walk down Melrose,
And take a picture at the homedepot.
I’m going to leave a message in the 7th box from the door in room 412,
And have it read, "Let the sky rain potatoes".
I’m going to go to the wall,
And leave a piece of gum on it.
I’m going to wonder over to the tree,
And carve “ours” into the trunk.
I’m going to brave the ladder, climb to the catwalk,
And draw a stick figure holding a heart.
I’m going to go to cold stone.
And ask for a sample spoon.
I’m going to climb the fence on top of the hill,
With that spoon in my hand.
I’m going to drive around vista,
With a stuffed cow on my dashboard.
I’m going to go down to the park,
And name the ducks in the creek.
I’m going to drive to the parking lot,
And leave a note card with my deepest secret.
I’m going to walk around the block,
And leave my roller blades by the dent in the street light.
I’m going to get on the sprinter,
Not knowing where I’m going or how I’m going to get back.
I’m going to stand on a street corner,
Holding a blank sign.
I’m going to be late for curfew,
But have enough time to whisper I love you.
I’m going to go to Disneyland,
And leave a math problem in a locker.
I’m going to write the greatest love story ever,
And not let anyone read it.
I’m going to go to a rival school’s football game,
And pretend I go there.
I’m going to take my blanket,
And leave it under the stars.
I’m going to wander Wal-Mart in a ball gown,
And not think it’s strange at all.
I’m going to voice my opinion,
Standing up for what I know is right.
I’m going to get 400 signatures to stop discrimination,
In two days.
I’m NOT going to talk for a day,
To show you I love and support who you are.
I’m going to sit in a hotel hallway at four in the morning,
And tell you I’m not tired.
I’m going to stay up on the phone with you for 8 hours,
Because I want to know everything about you.
I’m going to pretend I don’t know how to skateboard,
So you will teach me.
I’m going to squeeze your hand,
To show you I am still there by your side.
I’m going to walk to the end of the pier,
And scream into the ocean because you hurt me.
I’m going to close my eyes,
And pretend like I am dancing with you.
I’m going to write reasons why I love you on post its,
And leave them for you to find.
I’m going to make you a pie,
And forget to put in sugar.
I’m going to take too many pictures,
But not delete a single one.
I’m going to meet so many people,
But never forget my closest friends.
I’m going to write a love poem,
and never deliver it.
I’m going to close my eyes and smile for,
Four years of movies, car rides, laughs and cries.
I’m going to miss you.
I’m going to move on,
I’m going to take the next step in my life,
But I’m not going to forget you.
And take a picture at the homedepot.
I’m going to leave a message in the 7th box from the door in room 412,
And have it read, "Let the sky rain potatoes".
I’m going to go to the wall,
And leave a piece of gum on it.
I’m going to wonder over to the tree,
And carve “ours” into the trunk.
I’m going to brave the ladder, climb to the catwalk,
And draw a stick figure holding a heart.
I’m going to go to cold stone.
And ask for a sample spoon.
I’m going to climb the fence on top of the hill,
With that spoon in my hand.
I’m going to drive around vista,
With a stuffed cow on my dashboard.
I’m going to go down to the park,
And name the ducks in the creek.
I’m going to drive to the parking lot,
And leave a note card with my deepest secret.
I’m going to walk around the block,
And leave my roller blades by the dent in the street light.
I’m going to get on the sprinter,
Not knowing where I’m going or how I’m going to get back.
I’m going to stand on a street corner,
Holding a blank sign.
I’m going to be late for curfew,
But have enough time to whisper I love you.
I’m going to go to Disneyland,
And leave a math problem in a locker.
I’m going to write the greatest love story ever,
And not let anyone read it.
I’m going to go to a rival school’s football game,
And pretend I go there.
I’m going to take my blanket,
And leave it under the stars.
I’m going to wander Wal-Mart in a ball gown,
And not think it’s strange at all.
I’m going to voice my opinion,
Standing up for what I know is right.
I’m going to get 400 signatures to stop discrimination,
In two days.
I’m NOT going to talk for a day,
To show you I love and support who you are.
I’m going to sit in a hotel hallway at four in the morning,
And tell you I’m not tired.
I’m going to stay up on the phone with you for 8 hours,
Because I want to know everything about you.
I’m going to pretend I don’t know how to skateboard,
So you will teach me.
I’m going to squeeze your hand,
To show you I am still there by your side.
I’m going to walk to the end of the pier,
And scream into the ocean because you hurt me.
I’m going to close my eyes,
And pretend like I am dancing with you.
I’m going to write reasons why I love you on post its,
And leave them for you to find.
I’m going to make you a pie,
And forget to put in sugar.
I’m going to take too many pictures,
But not delete a single one.
I’m going to meet so many people,
But never forget my closest friends.
I’m going to write a love poem,
and never deliver it.
I’m going to close my eyes and smile for,
Four years of movies, car rides, laughs and cries.
I’m going to miss you.
I’m going to move on,
I’m going to take the next step in my life,
But I’m not going to forget you.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Accessory
Handbags
Shoes
Scarfs
and gloves
Your nothing more then an accessory.
You come in every shape and size.
You can even be personalized.
You go along with the objects around you.
You don't stand out but you attempt to make a statement.
You even claim to go through mistreatment.
You hold no value.
You hold no meaning.
That my dear is why I am intervening.
Your not fabulous.
And, your not grand.
From my wardrobe you have been banned.
Attempting to find your nitch.
Trying to match up to this seasons splendors.
But darling even you know your just a blunder.
Thrift store reject.
Just a costume joke.
Something to make fun of and poke.
Stop pretending to be.
Not everything is what it seems.
So stop with your pathetic Schemes.
Shoes
Scarfs
and gloves
Your nothing more then an accessory.
You come in every shape and size.
You can even be personalized.
You go along with the objects around you.
You don't stand out but you attempt to make a statement.
You even claim to go through mistreatment.
You hold no value.
You hold no meaning.
That my dear is why I am intervening.
Your not fabulous.
And, your not grand.
From my wardrobe you have been banned.
Attempting to find your nitch.
Trying to match up to this seasons splendors.
But darling even you know your just a blunder.
Thrift store reject.
Just a costume joke.
Something to make fun of and poke.
Stop pretending to be.
Not everything is what it seems.
So stop with your pathetic Schemes.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
A Love story
Criminals, Airports, and love
It started by a chance meeting; two strangers in an airport no special place. No sparks went off, no fireworks in their first meeting. In all honestly they had nothing in common a man and a woman from different parts of the country in their own worlds. She was an insurance agent. He was a hotel manager. Both careers kept them in airports often. But today would change any other flight they would ever take again.
“oh I’m terribly sorry mama.”
The man apologized as he accidently bumped into the women as he walked past her sitting in a chair.
“Is this seat taken?”
He gestured to the empty seat to her left.
“No not at all, go ahead.”
The woman said with a smile. She turned back to her book. Not a book generally read by an insurance agent. The book was titled Obsession written by John E. Douglas, a book about the inside of serial killer minds. What makes them think why they do what they do. The man took notice of the woman’s reading material. Not something the common reader read. He only knew the title because he had picked it up accidently a few years earlier, a little light reading on one of his many flights. He had become hooked on this enchanting, in a dark, disturbing way, genre of reading material.
“Excuse me this may be a strange question and feel free to tell me if I’m invading too much into the life of a stranger. But that book your reading? Are you a criminal profiler?”
At first the women was a little taken a back why in the world was this stranger talking to her?
“Me? Oh this no it’s just an odd fascination of mine. I quite enjoy these types of books.”
She returned back to her book. Figuring this conversation had ended. The man looked about the airport. He didn’t quite feel like reading right then. He could not concentrate with all the noise and the people anyway. He glanced at the woman still reading.
“I’m, Mark by the way.”
She glanced at him and smiled then continued reading. She flew enough that she had learned it was better to just not talk then make small talk with the strangers around her.
“You know I am quite a fan of the criminal profiling genre of books, actually the entire human mind amazes me.”
The woman realized that reading around this man, Mark? Did he say his name was? Would be impossible. But he didn’t seem to be the regular creeper bent on hitting her or the desperate traveler I need of a conversation. So she gave in.
For the next half hour the discussed their fascination with the human mind and how it works. They talked about their jobs. How they were in and out of air ports all the time. Often time in different cities every other week. She had a home in San Francisco she rarely saw. He had a loft in Manhattan he had not been to in months. They talked till they boarded their separate planes for separate destinations.
Two strangers on two different paths. In two different worlds.
Many weeks past and it didn’t take long for her to forget the stranger in the airport. In fact she had forgotten all about him. As he had forgotten her.
It was a rainy Thursday afternoon in the Seattle airport. The woman was in need of a coffee and was thrilled when her caramel macchiato was placed up on the bar. As the order was called she went grab it only for her hand to meet with another.
“oh I’m terribly sorry mama”
The woman looked into the face of the man she had forgotten and remembered.
“you!”
She was pleasantly shocked to meet him again.
“Well, if its not a small world. I do believe we have met once before, Kate is it?”
He was secretly pleased to have run into the beautiful women with the beautiful mind once again.
As they meet again the second coffee was placed on the bar. They grabbed their drinks and sat down to talk as they waited for their flights. They talked about their lives since they had last seen each other. Never going into too much detail. Never saying to much neither ever knowing much about the others true life.
This time when they left they exchanged numbers. They had created a friendship of sorts. Two strangers who met in an airport.
Whenever they found a moment when they would be in the same city or could arrange a lay over in the same town they did. They never left the airport. Coffee every few weeks one day Chicago another Austin.
They never spoke into much detail of their lives. Just enough to keep a conversation and only long enough till one of them had to catch a flight.
They never told each other but in a strange way they had fallen in love. They both knew it was a relationship that would never work they were from different worlds. With only airports in common. But they were lovers of sorts lovers in an airport starbucks.
*not done I need a good closing but I cant think of it right now.
It started by a chance meeting; two strangers in an airport no special place. No sparks went off, no fireworks in their first meeting. In all honestly they had nothing in common a man and a woman from different parts of the country in their own worlds. She was an insurance agent. He was a hotel manager. Both careers kept them in airports often. But today would change any other flight they would ever take again.
“oh I’m terribly sorry mama.”
The man apologized as he accidently bumped into the women as he walked past her sitting in a chair.
“Is this seat taken?”
He gestured to the empty seat to her left.
“No not at all, go ahead.”
The woman said with a smile. She turned back to her book. Not a book generally read by an insurance agent. The book was titled Obsession written by John E. Douglas, a book about the inside of serial killer minds. What makes them think why they do what they do. The man took notice of the woman’s reading material. Not something the common reader read. He only knew the title because he had picked it up accidently a few years earlier, a little light reading on one of his many flights. He had become hooked on this enchanting, in a dark, disturbing way, genre of reading material.
“Excuse me this may be a strange question and feel free to tell me if I’m invading too much into the life of a stranger. But that book your reading? Are you a criminal profiler?”
At first the women was a little taken a back why in the world was this stranger talking to her?
“Me? Oh this no it’s just an odd fascination of mine. I quite enjoy these types of books.”
She returned back to her book. Figuring this conversation had ended. The man looked about the airport. He didn’t quite feel like reading right then. He could not concentrate with all the noise and the people anyway. He glanced at the woman still reading.
“I’m, Mark by the way.”
She glanced at him and smiled then continued reading. She flew enough that she had learned it was better to just not talk then make small talk with the strangers around her.
“You know I am quite a fan of the criminal profiling genre of books, actually the entire human mind amazes me.”
The woman realized that reading around this man, Mark? Did he say his name was? Would be impossible. But he didn’t seem to be the regular creeper bent on hitting her or the desperate traveler I need of a conversation. So she gave in.
For the next half hour the discussed their fascination with the human mind and how it works. They talked about their jobs. How they were in and out of air ports all the time. Often time in different cities every other week. She had a home in San Francisco she rarely saw. He had a loft in Manhattan he had not been to in months. They talked till they boarded their separate planes for separate destinations.
Two strangers on two different paths. In two different worlds.
Many weeks past and it didn’t take long for her to forget the stranger in the airport. In fact she had forgotten all about him. As he had forgotten her.
It was a rainy Thursday afternoon in the Seattle airport. The woman was in need of a coffee and was thrilled when her caramel macchiato was placed up on the bar. As the order was called she went grab it only for her hand to meet with another.
“oh I’m terribly sorry mama”
The woman looked into the face of the man she had forgotten and remembered.
“you!”
She was pleasantly shocked to meet him again.
“Well, if its not a small world. I do believe we have met once before, Kate is it?”
He was secretly pleased to have run into the beautiful women with the beautiful mind once again.
As they meet again the second coffee was placed on the bar. They grabbed their drinks and sat down to talk as they waited for their flights. They talked about their lives since they had last seen each other. Never going into too much detail. Never saying to much neither ever knowing much about the others true life.
This time when they left they exchanged numbers. They had created a friendship of sorts. Two strangers who met in an airport.
Whenever they found a moment when they would be in the same city or could arrange a lay over in the same town they did. They never left the airport. Coffee every few weeks one day Chicago another Austin.
They never spoke into much detail of their lives. Just enough to keep a conversation and only long enough till one of them had to catch a flight.
They never told each other but in a strange way they had fallen in love. They both knew it was a relationship that would never work they were from different worlds. With only airports in common. But they were lovers of sorts lovers in an airport starbucks.
*not done I need a good closing but I cant think of it right now.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
I Cant Speak and I cant Hear But I dont Care
So I make it a goal I attend at least one concert a month. Last night I went to the Hollywood Undead Concert at the San Diego House of blues. Strange that I love this band, I tend to shy away from this genre of music with those type of lyrics however they seem to be an exception in my mind. But my choice in music is not what this blog is about but about why I go to Concerts.
Pushing my way through the crowds of people with the goal of making it as close to the stage as I can. People jumping pushing and shoving. The rush of toppling over and trying to get up before you get hurt. I LOVE THE RUSH THE CRAZINESS I LOVE IT! Standing there in front of the stage the pulse of every beat pulsing through every part of my body. Screaming as i rich out my hand and the lead singer grabs it. I love this feeling. I don't think many things beat the rush of going to a concert.
Pushing my way through the crowds of people with the goal of making it as close to the stage as I can. People jumping pushing and shoving. The rush of toppling over and trying to get up before you get hurt. I LOVE THE RUSH THE CRAZINESS I LOVE IT! Standing there in front of the stage the pulse of every beat pulsing through every part of my body. Screaming as i rich out my hand and the lead singer grabs it. I love this feeling. I don't think many things beat the rush of going to a concert.
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